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| and then i read 105. out of 105.
and for all my sins, all my secret, disgusting, debelitating, time-stealing, spirit-filled...and i dont mean the good kind either......repetivitve over and over and over and over again sins...you have been the one.
you have forgiven. even in the same night..you forgive, and then you forgive again.
and im grateful. i am SO SO SO grateful.
i work hard, but you know that i could work harder.
and through it all you have been faithful, so faithful oh so beautifully faithful, and i am so very very grateful. i am so grateful to you Jesus.
oh Jesus Jesus Jesus. you have kept my life. my life. i have nearly ended it, so so so many times, and You...oh wonderful, beautiful you- you have blessed me again. and again. and again.
and even now, when I feel as though as should feel more..holy, more wanting to sit and pray than still go out...i know i dont want to go and do anything that would make you look bad. i am still your child, and honestly, i can beleive you still want me.
you are the king of everything. of EVERYTHING. and you chose me. you came in, and you chose me, and you pull for me and push for me and you do and you are everything and you mean everything.
bless my daddys business.
Lord, Lord, Lord...you are soo good. i thank you so much for being my everything. and thank you for 105. out of 105. thats a perfect. i asked for 99%.
i was kind of kidding. i knew it wouldnt happen.
ive screwed up to much in every kind of conceivable way.
but still and then again i feel the protective curves and anges that i buld to protect myself from the cruel world and its imperfections, but mostly and importantly me..i protect me from me..
the disgusting perverted no good deceitful conniving me, who even know yearns to do wrong...
i just have to do right.
i wanna be riiiight, oh Lord. before you.
i remember the song, but now i want to be willing to do all that that means..all i will have to do and not do to reach that point. i want that point.
i dont care what anyone says.
I am not that smart, or intelligent, or witty,
and honestly...my writing is not that good,
it is he who gives the increase.
ohhh Jesus your unamable increase.
fill me, fill me Lord.
you. are. everything to me.
i want to act like it. i fear of PACS. help. help. please. mercy. grace. favor..
you have coated my life with these since my birth.
and i will let this peace seep in and i will praise you and praise you and praise you.
thank you JESUS!!!!!
holla.
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| Oh how I love Jesus, oh how I love Jesus, Oh how I love Jesus, because he first loved me.....
I'm free! I'm free! And i'll never have to go back to that class again!!!!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!!! FINALLY!
now if we could only get rid of the detective problem...
 ash
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| Everyone in my life, all my friends, those i love, are the same. they are completely different- yet intristically the same. they make my heart ache. they make me want to die, and just be with Jesus and maybe help them as angel or something because i realize now that i cna't do anything. this is their fight. but i still love them. | | |
| Wash away the thoughts inside
that keep my mind away from you
No more love and more pride
And thoughts are I have to do
Ooh Remember when it rained
I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Ooh Remember when it rained
In the darkness I remain
Tears of hope run down my skin
tears for you that will not dry
They magnify the One within
and let the outside slowly die
Ooh Remember when it rained
I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Ooh Remember when it rained
In the water I remain
Running down
Running down
Running down
Running down
Running down
Running down.
ash
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| know what i don't like? how you know you don't like something but you get it anyway. then you can't throw it away because there are people who would kill to have that to eat. I do not like that. Like apples. The red ones. and why does they taste if they're cut into those apple slice things. maybe they don't and i just think they do. i don't think that the forbidden fruit adam and eve ate was an apple. because they're not that great. especially the red ones. | | |
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